Speak real Mandarin in 7 days. The kind of Chinese people actually use.
Most courses teach you sentences Chinese people don't actually say. Sounds that aren't what the letters look like. Writing before you can speak. This challenge fixes all three. In 7 days.
- Real Chinese — the phrases that exist in actual rooms, between actual people
- Sound first, always. No writing pressure, no textbook shortcuts
- 10–12 minutes a day. One lesson unlocks daily, starting Day 1
Meet your teacher
Hi, I'm Falafel.
I speak 7 languages. Every one of them opened a door, a conversation, a friendship, a deal, a moment of genuine human connection that would never have happened if I had stayed behind the textbook.
I also know what it sounds like when someone is speaking from a textbook. It is technically correct and completely lifeless. And more than that, it keeps you on the outside of the culture you are trying to reach.
This course exists because there is a gap between the Chinese that gets taught and the Chinese that gets spoken. I am here to close it.
This is for you if…
You have always wanted to learn Chinese but never found the right way in
You tried before and stopped — not because you gave up, but because it wasn't built for you
You are working between cultures and know you are leaving something on the table
You have 10–12 minutes a day and want to actually use them
This might not be the right fit if…
You're not comfortable with learning at your own pace
You'd rather wait until you feel fully ready before starting
What will you learn in 7 days
The sound system.
21 initials. The three sounds nobody expects: j, q, x. Your mouth learning to make sounds it has never made before.
The finals.
Vowel sounds. Including ü — a sound that doesn't exist in English. Your first real breakthrough.
All four tones.
By the end of this lesson, you can produce every sound in the Chinese language.
Your first real sentences.
Not textbook sentences. The phrases Chinese people actually say.
Questions — How to ask the real questions?
Ask naturally, clarify meaning, and keep conversations moving without sounding scripted.
Expressions — How to express your feelings like a native
Learn everyday reactions and emotional phrases so your Mandarin sounds alive, natural, and human.
A full Mandarin conversation.
Start to finish. The way two people actually speak when they meet for the first time.
Our Community
Every week there is something here for you. Pronunciation drops where you practise sounds and get real feedback. Cultural content that connects Chinese to the world you already know. And insights that make the language feel worth learning, not just useful to have.
- Sunday: Pronunciation drop + voice note challenge — Language & Pronunciation space
- Tuesday: Cultural parallel + question — Culture & The World space
- Wednesday: Voice note challenge — 5 minutes, your sounds on record
- Thursday: Weekly wins + community insights
Founding cohort pricing
Starter
The Course
Everything you need to go from zero to your first real Mandarin conversation — in 7 days.
- One lesson unlocks daily for 7 days
- 10–12 minutes per lesson
- Worksheets and 2 quizzes per lesson
- Study at your own pace
- Lifetime access
Secure checkout via Circle + Stripe · 2 min
The Course + Community
Everything in Starter — plus one month inside the Falafel in Hotpot community where your learning continues after the 7 days.
- Everything in Starter
- Weekly pronunciation feedback from Falafel
- Daily language and culture content
- Connect with learners on the same journey
- $25/month after the first month
First month included · $25/month after · Cancel anytime
Start the BundleSecure checkout via Circle + Stripe · 2 min
Limited spots
The Course + Community + Private Tutoring
Everything in Most Recommended — plus two hours of private one-on-one time with Falafel, built entirely around you.
- Everything in Most Recommended
- 2 hours private tutoring with Falafel
- Personalised pronunciation correction
- Priority access in live community events
- Limited spots available
Clicking any button takes you to Circle's secure checkout. You'll create a free account and pay there. Takes under 2 minutes.
Frequently asked
Yes. It takes under 2 minutes and your access opens automatically the moment payment is confirmed.
Zero. Day 1 starts from the very first sound. There is no assumed knowledge.
10 to 12 minutes each. One lesson unlocks per day starting from the day you join.
Yes. Full refund within 3 days (72 hours) of purchase — no questions asked. Contact us before your window closes and we'll process it within 5–7 business days. Community membership fees are non-refundable once a billing cycle has begun.
Each lesson comes with a worksheet and two quizzes to practise after the lesson ends. Starter tier includes lifetime access.
Your course access stays. Community access continues at $25/month if you're on the Bundle or VIP tier. Starter members can join the community separately at any time.
You are going to be tempted to wait until you feel ready.
Don't wait. Nobody ever feels ready. You just start.